Hopeless Love
by zairabca
Summary: Santana in hopelessly in love with Quinn. Quinn is broken. Will Santana be able to fix her? Sorry bad sumarry but I hope the story is better.
1. Chapter 1

**Authors note**

This is my first ever fanfic so please be gentle. I would love to have a beta so if you are interested please let me know ASAP! Let me know if you want me to continue this story.

* * *

Santana POV

I'm Santana. Santana Lopez but you already knew that. HBIC in McKinley. Before you ask this is a story where I tell you how hopelessly in love I am with my best friend. I know what you're think Brittany and my answer to that is no. I do love Brittany but I'm not love with her she's just my best friend. It's another blonde I'm in love with. Bingo! You guessed right Lucy Quinn Fabray. Yes I know okay! She's as straight as a ruler no need to rub it in my face.

I guess if you asked when I fell for Lucy Q it was the summer going into freshman year. Brittany and I met Quinn in Cheer Camp. I've always had a connection with Brittany. But it was different with Quinn we just clicked. Even when we first met each other we could have conversation with our eyes no need for talking because we already knew what the other was thinking.

During freshman year Quinn and Brittany were always at my house or I was at theirs(we weren't called the unholy trinity for nothing). The Lopez family has always loved having Quinn and Brittany over. They were always telling me to invite them to our huge family carne asadas(BBQ) parties. My abuela and tías even taught them how to speak Spanish and how to dance Bachata. My Tía Norma (by marriage) who is Mexican showed them a lot of Mexican singers.

Then sophomore year started it was hard for me being so inside the closet I practically ran Narnia. It was also hard on Quinn's and mines friendship. We had our up and we definitely had our down and boy were they low. These ups and downs it hurt our friendship with both of us wanting to be HBIC, her being with Finn,Puck, and Sam, her pregnancy and honestly me being a straight up bitch! Like I said the only straight I am is a straight up BITCH. That's just how I protected myself I built walls and only Brittnay was able to bring them down.

To tell you the truth I'm really worried about Quinn. Here I am first day of senior year and I haven't seen her since the end of junior year. I know we aren't in the best of terms but I still love her no matter how much she hates me.

* * *

When I first saw Quinn with her Pink hair and outfit my first observation was damn Q you looking hot. My second was the pain in her eyes. In that moment I knew I had to make things right between us.

The next time I talked to her was when I asked her to come join glee and Cheerios again. Of course I added a comment about soup and peroxide because even though I do care for I still have my walls up. She has the power to break my heart. That whole time we were talking I saw the pain and all I wanted to do was shake her and make her tell me everything that is bugging her. Just hold her and assure her that everything would be okay.

People think that just because she is the Ice Queen she really has no feelings. Can you imagine being raised in a conservative Christian home and your parents expecting nothing less than perfect? Have you perfect reputation gone because you had one too many wine coolers and some stupid boy taking advantage of you and the situation? Because of that one mistake you end up being pregnant with no home because your dad kicked you out. Your father is supposed to be the only man who will love you no matter what and not even him loved her enough to look past that stupid mistake. Yeah her dad's a jackass but it doesn't make it won't hurt any less. She was his little princess. I know if that happened to me I would be a mess. Not only that but having to give up your perfect baby. Being so selfless that you're willing to give your daughter a better life even if it isn't with you.


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note**

**Sorry for the delay.**

**Thank you to my beta technicallyimpaired.**

* * *

Chapter 2

Here I am, following Quinn. Yeah, I know, total creeper, but, whatever. I'm doing this because I want to know what's up, okay? I saw Coach filming her and followed them into Schue's office. I was so mad at what I had just heard. Not at Quinn. I get where she's coming from, trust me, I do. I was mad at Schuester. How dare he tell her to grow up? Guy's a dumbass. I think all the hair products are getting to his brain.

After the whole Schue incident, I followed her and I grew a lady pair and decided to talk to her. I found her in our spot at Cook Park near the duck pond. Whenever one of us would have a bad day or just need a break from the real world, we would call each other and come just to hang out. I sat next to her and hugged her. She tensed, but once she knew it was me she relaxed again and she continued to sob.

I don't know how long we were there, but it was dark and cold when her sobs turned into silent tears. "Come on. Let's go back to my place. You can stay the night. Mami misses you," I said.

She looked at me and it broke my heart to see the girl I'm so hopelessly in love with so hurt and broken. "I can't just leave my car here." Typical Quinn, trying to make excuses, but I knew better.

"You can lock it and we will come for it in the morning. Besides, there is no way I'm letting you drive." She didn't protest. We walked in silence back to my car.

* * *

Once we got home, we went straight into my room. "Here's a Tee and some shorts. Go take a shower first, I'll get us something to eat. You know where everything is." With that, I walked downstairs to the kitchen to see if there was any food because I was starving.

"Hola hija no te escuche entrar." My mom said once I walked in the kitchen.

"Hola mami. Que hay de comer estoy hambreada," I replied.

My mom rolls her eyes and says, "Ay, Santana, tu siempre tienes hambre."

"Sorry, Mami, but I'm a growing teenager. I need food in my system. Before I forget, Quinn se va quedar la noche." I tried to say as casually as possible. She looks at me like I grew two heads.

"Y eso? It's been forever since I've seen Quinn around here. Todo esta bien?" She asked.

"Si. No. I don't know. That's why I brought her, to see if we could talk." That's when Quinn enters the kitchen all showered.

"Hola, señora Lopez" Quinn says and it makes me smile that she still speaks Spanish so well.

"Ay, mija, cuantas veces te he dicho que me digas Maribel o Mami." Quinn smiled a real smile.

"Bueno. Yo me voy a bañar orita vengo a comer." I say standing up heading towards my room.

Quinn POV

I don't know why I agreed to come back to Santana's home. I guess because no matter what we've been through she is still the only person I truly trust. Once she told me to take a shower, I went into her bathroom get a towel and take the quick shower. It reminded me of old times when I'd come over and stay the nights with no worries just us, the Unholy Trinity

.

When I went downstairs, I heard Santana and her mom talking. I was terrified because Maribel is the closest thing I have to a real mom, and I really don't want her to see me in this state. I walked in and expected to see judgment in her eyes, disappointment, or worse, pity. She looked at me and there wasn't judgment, disappointment or pity, just love. I released the breath I didn't know I was holding. "Hola, Señora Lopez" was my only response, because I didn't know if I could still call her Mami.

She smiled and told me, "Ay, mija, cuantas veces te he dicho que me digas Maribel o Mami."

I instantly smiled because I knew that she still loved me, even if I was broken.

"Bueno. Yo me voy a bañar orita vengo a comer," Santana says before she gets up and leaves.

Maribel stands, gets two mugs, and pours some chocolate abuelita into them. She hands me one and says, "I know it's your favorite."

I take a sip. "Even better than I remember." I say simply because it been forever since I've had her famous chocolate abuelita.

"Mija, your hair is pink. Don't get me wrong, you look amazing, but it doesn't seem very you." Maribel says.

I look up and there is still no judgment or pity in her eyes, just concern. "Yeah, well, I'm not feeling like being myself lately," I reply bitterly.

"Fair enough. Quieres enchiladas potosinas. Santana's Tía Norma brought them for her."

I roll my eyes because Santana and her enchiladas are like me and bacon. "I think San would kill me if she knew I took some enchiladas," I said laughing and Maribel joined me as well.

"Best believe I would if you touched MY enchiladas." Santana said drying her hair with the towel.

"Mija, no seas asi tu tía trajo 4 docenas para ti."

"Exactly! That's four meals for me," Santana replies seriously.

"I see you're still eating a dozen of your aunt's enchiladas," I say, laughing.

"Of course! They're amazing! I get orgasms every time I eat them!"

Santana's mom throws a rag at her, glaring, "Santana lenguaje! Por favor!"

"Sorry, Mami, but they are just fu- Freaking good!"

"Ten Quinn ize Chicharrones."

* * *

After diner, we went up stairs to Santana's room. It's been a while since I was able to have a nice family dinner. Once San closed the door, I knew she wanted to talk about everything that happened this summer. She was about to speak when I interrupted her, "Look. I know you want to talk, but I'm exhausted, and, honestly, I'm not ready to talk." I knew she wanted to talk, but it was true. I was tired and I needed time.

"Okay. I'll wait as long as you want. I'll always be there for you." I just wish she actually meant it. No one ever sticks around and helps with my baggage.

* * *

Translations

Hola hija no te escuche entrar. - Hey I didn't hear you come in.

Hola mami. Que hay de comer estoy hambreada - Hey Mami. What did you cook I'm starving

Ay, Santana, tu siempre tienes hambre.- Santana, you're always hungry

Quinn se va quedar la noche- Quinn going to stay the night

Y eso? It's been forever since I've seen Quinn around here. Todo esta bien?- oh really? Everything ok?

Ay, mija, cuantas veces te he dicho que me digas Maribel o Mami. - How Many times have I told you call me Maribel or Mami

Bueno. Yo me voy a bañar orita vengo a comer.- Alright. I'm going to take a shower I'll be back to eat.

Mija, no seas asi tu tía trajo 4 docenas para ti. - Don't be like that your aunt brought 4 dozens for you.

Santana lenguaje! Por favor!- Language! Please


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors Note**

**Thank you to my beta technicallyimpaired.**

* * *

Santana's POV

I've never been a morning person, but I knew Quinn would want to sneak out in the morning, so I knew I had to wake up early. I woke up at 6:30 so I could make her some arroz con leche. Around 7, I went upstairs to wake her up and she was about to make her escape out my window. "Look we don't have to talk. Just don't leave. I made your favorite, arroz con leche. You can get borrow some of my clothes. Just stay. Besides, what am I suppose to tell my mom when she asks where you are?" After we both took a shower (separately), we went downstairs where my mom was already eating some of the arroz con leche.

"Buenos Dias, muchachas" my mom said once she saw us.

"Buenas, Mami," I said, kissing her cheek.

"Morning," Quinn said. She chose to wear my Maná amar es combatir shirt (Maná is a mexican rock band) and some black skinny jeans with her leather jacket. I have to admit, she looks badass. I'm wearing my cheerios uniform.

"Mija, no se como le haces pero a ti siempre te queda deliciosos el arroz con leche," my mom said.

"Yeah, San, it's my favorite. You make it better than your abuelita," Quinn added with a smile on her face.

"Just don't say that in front of abuela, Quinn," I mumbled, and my mom nodded in agreement.

After breakfast, I drove Quinn to the park so she could get her car. She was about to get out the car when I stopped her. "Quinn, babe, please don't push me away. I meant what I said I'll be here for you, always. I'll wait until you're ready," I said pleadingly.

She kissed me on the cheek and whispered, "How do I know you won't just leave like everyone else?" Before she could hear my reply, she got out of the car and left me there.

"Because I'm hopelessly in love with you." I whispered back.

Quinn's POV:

I ran. That's what I do when I'm scared. Santana, she has the power to break me even more. I don't think I could survive that, to be honest. I don't know if I'm gay, but I do know I feel something for her. I don't know if it's love, appreciation for our friendship, or just a crush. I can't let her in. It's too dangerous. Besides she's in love with Brittany.

Santana's POV

I knew that I had to earn back her trust, and I was willing to do anything for it. The good thing is I knew exactly how.

* * *

"Hey, Sanny!" Brittany said excitedly while crushing all the bones in my upper body.

"Hey, Britt-Britt!" I reply, equally excited. I don't know what it is about Brittany that always makes me so happy. Maybe it's her innocence. The way she looks at the world so positively makes me wish I had that, too. Yeah, me and Brittany are touchy feely, but I don't know where they get that we are dating. It's so fucking stupid. Don't get me wrong, Brittany is one of the hottest girls in school, but I would never date her. Of course, we've fooled around a couple times, but that's all it was. It was special, but we both knew it wouldn't work out between us. I need someone who challenges me, and she's a free spirit, she can't be tied down to just one person.

"So how are things with Quinn going?" She asks while we head to our lockers.

"I don't know, Britt. I know she wants to let me in, but she still doesn't trust me like she did. I guess that's my fault for being such a bitch to her the last couple of years," I said while looking at the floor, feeling ashamed.

"You both hurt each other these past couple years. Don't beat yourself too much." She says as the bell rings. She kisses my cheek and we head to our AP Lit class. Hey, don't look so surprised. Brittany is a genius. She's third in our class, behind Quinn and I. Yup, we're smart motherfuckers.

When we arrived in class, Quinn was already there rereading Alice in Wonderland. I swear, she loves that book more than anything.

"Hey, Q," I said while taking the seat next to her.

"Hey, Quinnie, I have a question." Brittany spoke.

Quinn put down her book and turned to give Brittany her full attention. "What is it Britt?" She used a soft tone because, really, no one can be a dick to Brittany.

"Did you have to drink a lot of pepto-bismol to get your hair that pink?"

I burst out laughing, and Quinn is trying not to laugh, too. Like I said, Brittany is a genius. She lacks common sense.

"No, Britt. I dyed it so it could be this color." As she replied, a genuine smile crept onto her lips. Her smiled always remind me of just how beautiful she really is. God. I'm such a sap.

Quinn's POV

The final bell rang and Ms. Kornfeld began talking about how To Kill a Mockingbird is one of America's greatest novels. I was taking notes for the class when Santana handed me a slip of paper. I opened it 'Do you want to go off campus to get lunch?'

'I don't think that's a good idea. I can't get behind on my classes.' I wrote back. It wasn't a total lie. I do have all AP and DE Classes.

'That's BS. We have the exact same schedule, and I know you don't have a class after lunch. We can do homework while we eat, if you want.' I look up at her, and she is pouting. Yeah, McKinley's badass is pouting, and she looks cute.

'Okay. Whatever. Just stop pouting.' She read the note and smiled which, in return, made me smile.

The next few classes were much like AP Lit. Brittany and I would take notes while Santana would just fool around. I hate how she doesn't have to try in her classes and still gets straight A's. When the lunch bell rang, I went to my locker to put my stuff away. When I heard someone approaching, I turned to find Santana sauntering towards me, sexy as ever. "So do you want to ride separately? Or do you one to go in one car?"

"Let's just take your car. I'm not in the mood to drive. Is Brittany joining us?"

"No, she has a fourth hour. She is taking some art class she needs to take so she can get into Juilliard," Santana replied as her face was overtaken by a proud smile.

As we got in her car, we started making small talk.

"Do you know what schools you're applying to?" I asked, casually trying continue the conversation.

"Well, I'm applying to Stanford, Yale, NYU, Columbia, and some other schools, but Columbia is my top pick. How about you, Blondie?"

"I'm sure you'll get into Columbia," I said truthfully. "I applied to Yale, Ohio State, NYU, and other colleges, as well. I really hope I get into Yale. It would mean the world to me." This was the first time I ever told anyone that I wanted to go to Yale.

She turned to look at me, took a hold of my hand, and squeezed it gently. "If there is anyone who is going to get into Yale, it's you. You are the smartest person I know." Her eyes glowed with the light of sincerity.

"Thanks." After an awkward silence, I notice we are still holding hands. I gently released her hand and turned on the radio. She had some Latin station on and Te Extraño by Xtreme began to play. She started sing softly. God. I've missed hearing her sing in Spanish. It's probably the sexiest thing ever. Wait... I mean amazing. Not sexy. Just amazing.

"Here we are." We arrived at some pizza place. But after trying real New York pizza, every other pizza sucks.

When the waitress came, we ordered a pepperoni pizza with bacon and two Jarritos.

I knew Santana wanted to say something but didn't know how. "Look, I know I've been a bitch to you these past few years, but I want to apologize for everything."

I was throw into shock by what I just heard. Santana never apologizes.

"I want us to be friends. I want us to end senior year the way we started freshman year, together," she continued.

I trust her more than anything, but I can't allow myself to get hurt anymore.

I was about to say something, but she interrupted me. "Look. I'm not asking you to just tell me everything. We don't even have to talk about your problems or mine. I just want my best friend back."

I don't know if I should let her in.

* * *

Translations:

Buenos Dias, muchachas - Good Morning Girls

Mija, no se como le haces pero a ti siempre te queda deliciosos el arroz con leche - I don't know how you do it but your arroz con leche is always delicious.


	4. Chapter 4

**Authors Note**

**I'm not really following the timeline from the show.  
**

* * *

Santana's POV

It's taking her a while to respond, and, honestly, the suspense is killing me.

"Look, Santana, I don't think I'm

ready to fully let you in."

I think my heart just broke into a

million peices. I was trying so hard to keep the tears, that were currently invading my eyes, from falling.

"At least, not quite yet. Just give me

some time. Okay?" She looked so sincere.

"Okay, anything you want, Q. I'll wait as long as you need." I couldn't control the megawatt grin that spread across my face.

The rest of lunch continued with small talk and gossip we had heard in school. I didn't want to push her too much, so, I stuck to simple subjects like weather, school, tv shows, music, stuff I knew wouldn't make her uncomfortable.

"Fourth period will end in ten minutes. We should head back to school so we aren't late to fifth hour."

I rolled my eyes at Quinn. "Whatever you want, Quinnie."

"Don't roll your eyes at me! Not all of us are smart enough to not have to try but still get straight A's," Quinn shot back with a smirk on her face.

After we split the check, we headed to my baby (a black 1970 Malibu 400 convertible) so we could make it back in time for AP Cal.

When we arrived at school, Quinn was about to get out of the car when I gently grabbed her arm. "Look, Q, I know its not my business, but I miss you in Glee. It's not the same without you in there. I also know for a fact that you love glee. Like I said, we started glee together, and I want us to end together. I'm not expecting you to join today. Just think about it? Besides, having a National Championship looks good on a college resume."

Quinn's POV

Santana's right. I miss glee, a lot. Maybe I should join. I guess we will see.

.

God, I hate AP Calculus. It's so hard! Britt and I were busy taking notes while Santana does God knows what, because, really, she's known most if this stuff since freshman year. I'm furiously taking notes when I notice Santana staring at me. "You know it's rude to stare at people, right?"

"Yeah, I know, but you just look really cute all concentrated and stuff," she said, shrugging, while I was probably the same color as my hair.

.

The rest of the day was uneventful.

"Hey do you want to go over to my house after I'm done with glee?" Santana asked while I was getting the books I needed to take home.

"Yeah. Sure."

Santana's POV

I'm still a little sad that Quinn isn't in glee, but I still love it. Even if Schue has favorites and Finn annoys me a bit. (Only reason I tolerate him is because he was decent to Quinn during her pregnancy.) Everybody else is okay, even the dwarf.

"Hey, boy Chang!" I chuckled, hugging Mike. Don't be too surprised. Since both of our dads are doctors at the same hospital, we've been friends since forever.

"Hey, Flaca! How are you doing?" I hate when he calls me that!

"You know I hate it when you call me Flaca! Especially at school!" I see Tina coming towards us. "Hey, Girl Chang!"

"Hey, Santana."

I was about to start a conversation with them when I see Quinn walking in. I became concerned that something might be wrong. "What's up, Q? You need something?" I asked, a little surprised. I thought she was going to tell me she was going to be in the library or something.

"Well I came to glee practice, duh!"

I was so ecstatic that I picked her up, hugging her. "You decided to join again! I'm really glad you did!"

"Hey, girl, you're back!" Mercedes exclaimed, taking her turn to hug Quinn.

Everyone decided to bombard her with 'Hellos' and 'We've missed yous'. Schuester, being Schuester, walks in 10 minutes late, as always. "Alright, everyone, take a seat. This year we need to practice - Oh hey, Quinn, you're back."

"Hey, yeah, I'm back. Hope you don't mind."

"Not at all. Welcome back," Shue replied.

I let out the breath I hadn't realized I was holding. I had been worried. I thought he wouldn't want her back after the whole Sue campain incident.

"Its good to be back," She smiled.

God, she is so hot. Her new look is so sexy. Those shirts that reveal a little bit of her abs. I just want to…

"Hey, Santana!" Mike said shaking me a bit.

"What?!"

"You went into LaLa land. I've been trying to get your attention for like five minutes. Are you feeling alright?" Mike sounded concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just thinking."

Everyone else was thinking of song ideas we could use for sectionals.

"Hey, S, you want to leave early? Head to your house and watch Friends?" Quinn asked, taking a seat next to me.

"Yeah, let's get out of here. We'll go to your house first so you can get some stuff to stay over, and we can leave your car there. Sound like a plan?" I asked her.

"Sounds like a plan. Do you have fruit and some Tajin at your house?" She was just a little to excited.

"Yeah my tía Norma brought us some, and we have a lot of fruit." I said walking towards our cars.

"I love your tía and her Mexican snacks. You'll follow me right?" Somehow, she meant more than just the car ride without her knowing.

"Always," I replied, kissing her cheek before heading back to my car. After we got in our respective cars, I followed her to her house.

Thirty minutes later, we are watching Friends in our sweats and t-shirts with a huge bowl of fruit and some Tajin.

Quinn's POV

I don't know if it's just me, but Santana has been very sweet. She has always been sweet with me and Brittany, but this time it's different... Like girlfriend kind of sweet. Maybe I'm just overthinking everything. She has been trying to get my friendship back. Yeah, it's probably just that.

We are still watching Friends sitting in the love seat with my back on the armrest and my legs on her thighs. The bowl of snacks is in between us.

Her dad, Angel, walks in, suddenly. I was scared of him seeing me with my pink hair. He has been more of a father to me than my own.

"Hola, hija, como te fue en la escuela hoy? Y ese milagro que estas aqui, Quinn? Tienes mucho tiempo que no te veo. Me gusta tu nuevo look."

"Hola, Papi, bien gracias, " Santana replied without taking her eyes off the tv.

"Hola, señor López. Santana me invitó a quedarme la noche. Gracias quería tratar algo nuevo." I said, nervously.

"Hija, dime Ángel o Papi. Todos somos familia aqui. Bueno, yo voy a ir a tomar una siesta." Ángel informed us as he walked upstairs.

"Ahorita te voy a levanta cuando esté la cena." San shouted to her dad.

"What is your mom making?" I asked Santana.

"She is making Tostones with rice."

"I love Tostones!"

"Yeah, I know. I told her you were coming over, so she said she would make them." She waved it off, shrugging.

After dinner with the Lópezes, Santana and I went upstairs to take a shower.

I love that her family still keeps her puerto rican customs.

"Here, you take my bathroom. I'll use the guest room bathroom."

Santana's POV 

Quinn deserves to be happy. She's been through to much shit. I'll be damned if she isn't happy. I'd do anything to see her happy. I want her to find love even if it isn't with me. Besides, I'm just some whore. She deserves better than me. Let's also not forget that she is straight.

After my much needed shower, I went back to my bedroom to find Quinn on my bed reading The Book Thief.

"Already starting a new book?"

"Yeah, gave me a whole list of books I should read."

"I bet that got you all excited and stuff," I said, winking at her.

"God, must you make everything sexual?" She asked, blushing.

"Where's the fun if I don't? Scoot over I'm sleepy. Besides, we have school tomorrow."

"Do you want me to turn off the light?" Quinn asked, a little disappointed.

I could see she was getting into the book and I didn't have the heart to say yes. So, I kissed her cheek. "No, it's okay. Goodnight. Tell me how the book is in the morning."

Quinn's POV

If Santana weren't so tired, she would have noticed I was furiously blushing after she kissed me on the cheek.

An hour later, I decided it was time to put the book down and get some rest. As I settled into the bed, Santana stirred and cuddled into me.

"Love you," was the last thing she said before she fell asleep again.

I think she was talking about Brittany. Maybe I should ask her if something is going on between them.

* * *

The next morning, I woke up to find us still cuddling. I gently untangled us and went to the bathroom. When I walked back into the room, Santana was half naked, trying to put on her cheerios uniform. "Oh, hey, Quinn. Can you help me with the zipper?"

"Um, yeah, sure." My heart was in my throat, so I swallowed had to put it back in my chest.

"Sweet. Thanks," she said, after I had helped her. She kissed my cheek and went to the bathroom to get ready.

Once again, I was left there, blushing furiously.

At breakfast Santana's dad made pancakes, with eggs, and bacon.

"Buenos Dias, niñas." His smile was beaming.

"Buenos Dias, chicas." Maribel piped up, from where she was eating at the kitchen island.

"Buenas, Mami, Papi." Santana kissed them both on the cheek.

"Morning." I said, because I still didn't know what to call them.

"Sus desayunos estan ahi con tu mama," Angel said, while making himself breakfast.

"Gracias," we replied in unison.

Santana was texting furiously and smiling. I'm not going to lie. I was jealous.

"Who are you texting?"

Santana's POV

'Have you told Quinn how you feel about her?- Britt'

'No- San'

'Why not you guys you could make really sexy lady babies- Britt'

I burst out laughing.

'And it's totally obvious you have a lady boner for her-Britt'

This time I blushed.

"Who are you texting?" Quinn asked with a hint of.. Is that jealousy? No, it can't be.

"I'm just texting Britt."

Quinn's POV 

"Oh!"

"Yeah, she just said something really funny and then something embarrassing." She filled me in with a hint of blush on her cheeks.

"Oh," I repeated.

"You know Britt. She has no filter."

"I've been meaning to ask you. You don't have to tell me because it's not my business. But I want to know. I know it's not fair-" I was rambling.

"Woah, Quinn. Hold on a sec. I can only follow you for a short time when you speed talk. What did you want to ask?"

"AreandyouandBrittanyathingorsomething?" I spat it out, quickly.

"Can you repeat that I didn't quite follow?" She gave me a confused look.

I let out an exasperated sigh. "I said, 'Are you and Brittany a thing or something?'" I bit my bottom lip, waiting for a reply.

"Ohhhh!" She bursts out laughing. "You think me and Brittany are a thing, too? Do we seriously look like a couple?" She asked with a smile tugging her lip.

"Well, yeah, you guys are really close and all. I just thought you had taken your friendship to the next level."

" Yeah, we are close and all, but it doesn't mean we are together. You know I'm a lesbian or whatever, but me and Brittany aren't a thing. She's just my best friend. Hell, if we were still the Unholy Trinity, people would think we are in a polyamorous relationships or whatever. Brittany is just my best friend."

"I know. I'm sorry." I mumbled, feeling ashamed.

"Whatever, let's just head to school."

Santana's POV

I'm not mad that Quinn thinks that me and Brittany are a thing. It just gets annoying.

The car ride to school was quiet. The only noise came from the radio.

When we got to school Quinn spoke. "Look. I'm sorry for-"

"Hey, I'm not mad. It just gets annoying. People in this school think they know me. They think they have the have the right to judge me."

"Trust me,I know. Do your parents know about you?"

"No, I don't think they'll mind, but I'm just not ready, you know?"

"Yeah."

KNOCK KNOCK

"HEY GUYS!" Brittany, being her usually perky self.

"Hey, Britt." We said in unison.

"So, I wanted to be Kurt's campaign manager but I don't think he likes my ideas." Brittany pouted.

"Why don't you just run for president, Britt?" Quinn inquired.

"People won't take me seriously. They think I'm stupid," She replied, sadly.

"Britt, you're a genius," I spoke, honestly.

"San's right," Quinn agreed, hugging Britt.

"If you want, we can be your campaign managers," I offered.

"Really? That would be like totally awesome." Brittany started jumping and hugging us both.

Quinn's POV

We were walking to class talking about campaigning when Puck approached us.

"Hey, can we talk?" He asked in a serious voice. He didn't seem like he was going to try to flirt or something, so I started to follow him.

"Look. I don't have time for this, so make it quick."

As we enter a classroom, I see Shelby.

"You're back," I state, simply.

* * *

Hola, hija, como te fue en la escuela hoy? Y ese milagro que estas aqui, Quinn? Tienes mucho tiempo que no te veo. Me gusta tu nuevo look." - Hey, How was school today? What a surprise that you're here, Quinn? It has been a while since I've see you around. I like the new look."

Hola, Papi, bien gracias,- Hey, daddy, it was good thanks

"Hola, señor López. Santana me invitó a quedarme la noche. Gracias quería tratar algo nuevo.-Hey, . Santana invited me to stay over. Thanks I decided to try something new.

Hija, dime Ángel o Papi. Todos somos familia aquí. Bueno, yo voy a ir a tomar una siesta.- Call me Angel or dad. We are all family here. Im going to take a nap."

Ahorita te voy a levanta cuando esté la cena.- I'll go wake you up when dinner is ready.

Buenos Dias, niñas.- Good morning, girls

Buenos Dias, chicas.- Good morning, girls

Buenas, Mami, Papi.- Morning, Mommy, daddy.

Sus desayunos estan ahi con tu mama,-Your breakfast is next to your moms


	5. Chapter 5

**Authors Note**

**Finals Suck!  
**

**I'm Mexican-American but I'm better at English than Spanish. So if you know Spanish sorry for my mistakes.**

**Like I said this is my first story sorry for this chapter I struggled a lot with it. **

_**'The struggle is real'**_

* * *

Quinn's POV

_"Look. I don't have time for this, so make it quick."_

_As we enter a classroom, I see Shelby._

_"You're back," I state, simply._

* * *

"Yeah, I went to New York. Thought I'd do it all, the whole working mother thing. But, when I was in rehearsal, even performing, I couldn't stop thinking about Beth. How I could miss her milestones, you know? Her first steps, first words, first -"

I attempt to cut her off. "I get it."

Apparently, she didn't hear me. "So, when I got this job offer, I couldn't refuse. I'd missed so many firsts in Rachel's life, I was not about to do that with Beth." She said, sadly.

"Neat story, but I'm late for something." My brain was screaming at me to leave. Like I said, I tend to run when things get hard. I was turning to leave.

Puck grabbed my arm. "Quinn, just listen to her," he pleaded.

"Wait, look. Since the day that I gave Rachel up for adoption I have been walking through life, searching for her face everywhere I go - imagining what she's doing, what she may be like. I don't want you to go through what I went through. Part of me is back here because I want you to get to know Beth. I want you to be a part of her life." Shelby said honestly.

I'm just scared. But I really want to see Beth. "When do I get to see her?" I inquire.

"Are you okay? What's going on with you? Are you even in Glee anymore?" She avoided the question.

"That doesn't matter. Or did you come here just to torment me with the idea of seeing Beth?" I demand, angrily.

"Look. I want you to be a part of Beth's life, but not like this. If you're really serious about Beth, clean up your act."

This infuriated me. Just because I dress like I do does not mean I'm a bad person.

"You think you can tell me what to do, just because you signed a couple of papers? You're not her mom. I'm her mom," I growled.

"Quinn." Puck warned.

I held my arm up to silence him, and continued. "Me. So you can pretend all you want, but that is something you are never going to be." I stalked off because I needed to process what had just happened.

Santana's POV

I followed Quinn, just to make sure Puck didn't do anything stupid. I heard their whole conversation with Shelby.

Who does Shelby think she is, judging Quinn for how she dresses? She is still a smart, amazing, responsible girl. I followed her after their conversation was over. She was under the bleachers.

"I heard everything. Are you alright?" I asked, then mentally kicked myself for asking a stupid question. "Sorry, stupid question, of course you're not."

The moment Quinn saw me, she ran to me and began to sob and cling to my shirt. "Hey, it's alright. I'm here. Let it all out," I cooed. I need to give Shelby a piece of my mind.

Around lunch time, Quinn had calmed down enough to go back into the building. We went to the restroom to make her look presentable. After applying a little makeup, she looked as good as new.

"Come on let's go to lunch," I say, gently, linking my arm with hers.

We saw Brittany sitting at the glee table, and headed towards them.

"Hey guys," Britt called to us.

"Hey," we replied in unison.

"Where were you guys all morning?" the Hobbit asked.

"I don't think it's any of your business," I snarked back.

"We decided to take the morning off," Quinn replied, simply.

"I took notes for the classes you missed," Britt bounced in her chair.

Everyone gave her a questioning look.

"Thanks, Britt. I'll copy them later," Quinn smiled.

* * *

Santana's POV

The rest of the day was spent with Quinn and Brittany taking notes for class. I was only half paying attention. Usually I just doodle or listen to music. Most teachers don't mind because I don't distract anyone and I get my shit done perfectly.

I was getting the shit that I needed to take home from my locker when Quinn came up to me.

"Let's go to glee?" She asked.

"I have to talk to Sue first. I'll be a little late." I kissed her cheek and walked away. Okay, so maybe I lied. I'm not going to go talk to coach. But I am going to go talk to Shelby. I went to her classroom she was at her piano, doing who knows what.

"Hey, can I talk to you a sec?" Confidence oozed from my voice.

"Um, yeah. Sure." She seemed a little surprised.

"I heard your conversation with Quinn earlier. I know it's not really my business who you do or don't let Beth see, but you have no right to judge her by the way she dresses." I said, angrily.

"Look, Santana. I just don't think Quinn is in a good place right now. She just seems to be in the wrong crowd."

"WOW! Way to judge a book by its cover, Shelby. You know, some of the nicest people I've met are covered in tattoos and piercings. Just because her clothing is darker and her hair is pink, it doesn't make her a bad person. She is still responsible and caring." I said growled, venomously as I turned to walk out. "Besides, you're being a little unfair. Last time I checked, Puck isn't the best role model, but you let him around Beth." With that, I walked out and went to the bathroom to calm down a bit.

After I had calmed down, I went to glee. When I got there, was talking about Mercedes leaving the New Directions to go to Shelby's group.

"Hey Sorry I'm late," I said as I sat next to Quinn.

She grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers.

I give her a questioning look.

"Thank you," she said with watery eyes.

"What for?" I asked, still confused.

"I heard you talking to Shelby-"

"You weren't supposed to know about that," I muttered, slightly embarrassed.

"I know, but I do, and I just wanted to thank you." She kissed my cheek.

I squeezed her hand, and with that, we went back to listening to Schuester talk about who knows what.

After glee, Mike came toward me and Quinn.

"Flaca, my dad is freaking out big time and wants me to quit Glee."

"Why is you dad freaking out?"

"You know that, to my dad, me getting an A- is like getting an F. And I got an A- in AP Chem."

"Ah, the Asian F. Do you want me to talk to him or something?" I offered, because he loves me.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out or something?" he asked, sounding hopeful.

He seemed down, so I agreed. "Yeah, sure. Let me just drop Quinn off. Is that okay, Q?"

"Yeah, sure," she said.

"You want to hang at my place?" I asked Mike, and he nodded. "Cool! Meet me there in like 20 minutes. Let's go drop you off."

The car ride to Quinn house was mostly quiet and comfortable. "Here we are. If you need anything, just call me." I reminded her, while kissing her cheek.

"Okay."

Quinn's POV 

"Mother, I'm home!" I yelled.

"Oh, hi, Quinny. I didn't think you'd come home tonight. I thought you were going to spend the night at Santana's," She said.

Ever since my mom left my dad, we have had a better relationship. She even helped me with my new look.

"No, not tonight. She' s busy today."

"Well, I made chicken and pasta. You want to have dinner in the living room and watch a movie?" my mom asked.

"Yeah, that sounds great."

My dad would die if he saw us in sweats and eating in the living room. Since my mom divorced my dad, she's been more loose and doesn't expect me to be perfect. She still expects me to try my best, though. During the movies, we'd make small talk.

"I'm glad you, Santana, and Brittany are friends again. The friendship you have with those two is hard to come by," she said, out of the blue.

"I know. I really missed them. I'm just glad they are part of my life again."

"I'm glad, too."

When the movies ended, my mom went to bed early and I decided to start on some essays I had for some classes. Most aren't due for a few weeks, but the sooner I start, the less I will have to worry later. I know, total nerd. At around 9:30, I got a text.

'Hey what you doing- San'

'Nothing doing homework. What about you- Q'

'Same. Whatcha do after school?-San'

'Nothing much. Just watched a movie with my mom while we ate dinner. How was it with Mike?- Q'

'Nice how's momma Fabray doing? You know us. Usually when we hangout it means kickboxing. - San'

'She's doing good. I see you're still into kickboxing maybe you can give me a few lessons. - Q'

'Yeah, totally! We should go next weekend. Hey, Q, I'm super sleepy. You want to ride to school tomorrow?- San'

'Okay, sounds good. Goodnight, San. You can pick me up tomorrow. - Q'

'Goodnight, hermosa.-San'


	6. Chapter 6

**Authors Note**

**Here is the next chapter. **

**check out my twitter zairabca to see the link for how I imagined Santana's home.**

******Thank you to my beta technicallyimpaired.**

* * *

Santana's POV

The rest of the week passed in a blur. I was so ready for the weekend.

"So are you still up to give me some kickboxing lessons?" Quinn asked as I was dropping her off at her house.

"You were serious about that?" I know she asked, but I didn't think she'd actually wanted me to teach her and I said next week.

"Well, yeah. I would really like to know at least the basics of self defense."

"Okay, go get some workout clothes and let's go the gym in my attic."

My dad has been doing kickboxing since he was 10 and it's something that he taught me at a very young age. So, naturally, when we got our first house, he put in a gym in it. At first, our family lived in Lima Heights, the ghetto of Lima. As soon as my papi got his first job as doctor, he started to make better money. He was smart, too, because he invested some of the money he made.

Let's just say money isn't an issue now. I don't like to brag about how wealthy we really are because my parents taught me that humility is the best thing you can have. But our house is technically a mansion here in Lima. My parents wanted a big house not to show off but because I have a very big family and they wanted to make sure they would all fit when we had our carne asadas(BBQ's).

Since I have like a 100 cousins (not exaggerating, and they are all first cousins) we made the basement into a movie/game room.

My parents also decided to have an indoor/outdoor pool and a hot tub.

"Alright, are you ready to go?" Quinn entered my car in some running shorts and a tank top. Looking super sexy.

"Mhm," I mumbled, because I didn't trust my voice right now. In 5 minutes we were at my house.

"Hola, niñas. Que van a ser?" (Hey, girls. What are you guys going to do?)

"Hola, Mami!" I replied, going to the fridge.

"Hola." Quinn said with a smile.

"Vamos a subir al gym para enseñarle a Quinn kickboxing."(We are going upstairs so I can teach her how to kickbox.)

"Ok. Tengan cuidado, por favor. No seas muy agresiva con Quinn. No esta en el mismo nivel que tu." (Ok. Be careful, please. Take it easy on Quinn. She isn't as good as you.)

"No te preocupes lo único que voy a ser en enseñarle los básicos porque ella quiere aprender." (Don't worry. I'm only teaching her the basics because she wanted me to teach her.)

"Ok, cuando esté la cena yo les hablo, okay?" (When dinner is ready I'll get you guys.)

"Si, esta bien, mami. Come on Quinn lets go to the attic." (Yes, mami, that's fine.)

We walked up to the attic, and Quinn took a look around.

"Hasn't changed since I was last here." She said, more to herself than anyone else.

"Yeah, when was that? Right before sophomore year?"

"I think so. God, we were so stupid. Us wanting popularity, and, in the process, we broke our amazing friendship."

"Yeah, we were. That's in the past now. Now, we can fix our friendship." I grabbed her hand and hugged her.

"Yeah, we can." After a very long hug, we separated.

"So, what's first? Teach," She instructed with a goofy smile.

"Well, we need to warm up first. Let's do like 10 minutes on the treadmill."

After ten minutes, Quinn was out of breath.

"God, I'm really regretting those cigarettes during the summer. I don't know how you're a total stoner and your cardio is still amazing."

"Ok. First of all, I am not a stoner. And second, I do like an hour of cardio everyday, that's why."

"Whatever. I know you have a joint at least on Sundays after you go to church with your abuela and abuelo." Quinn said with a smirk.

"Okay, let's start." I said, ignoring her because it was true.

I grabbed her hand, and started to wrap it carefully so she wouldn't hurt herself.

After I wrapped her hands, I went for a new pair of pink MMA Fight Gloves.

"I got them pink to match your hair." I smirked as I put them on her carefully.

"Thanks!" she grinned.

"Glad you like them."

I went for my UFC MMA Punch Mitts and put them on. "Okay. Let's start with punches, then we will do combinations. Is that alright?" I inquired in a serious voice.

"Yes, ma'am." Quinn smiled at my seriousness.

I just shook my head. "First do a left jab." I put my hand up so she could hit it. She hit it but it wasn't strong enough. "Good. This time hit it harder." She did 6 left handed jabs.

"Awesome! Those were really good! Okay, now I want you to do a left jab then a right cross. Got it?" I said as showed her what I wanted her to do. She nodded. I made her do that for like 15 minutes. She was sweating and it was really hard for me to concentrate.

So damn sexy. I followed a drop of sweat from her forehead all the way to her neck until it disappeared into her shirt. "Lets take a water break. It seems like you need it."

"Oh, my god, yes." She went to the mini fridge and bent down to grab a water bottle.

I tried so hard to not stare as her amazing ass.

"See something you like?" She asked. Damnit, I got caught. Quick think of something. Oh wait she didn't. That was close.

"Yeah. That Gatorade looks amazing."

"Ok. Have the blue one."

"Thanks. Okay. Lets do some core to give you more stamina." She grunted.

"Do we have to?" she whined.

"Yup." After of ten minutes of core she stood up.

"Hey, we aren't done yet."

"I know. I'm just taking my shirt off because it's soaking in sweat." She gave me disgusted face.

Oh, no, this can not be good. DON'T STARE. DON'T STARE. I repeated to myself. Then she started to take her shirt off, and I did exactly what I told myself not to do. Her boobs looked so fucking amazing in that sports bra. The sweat dripping from under her boob to her abs. I couldn't bring myself to look away.

"Hija, la cena vai estar en media hora."(Dinner will be ready in half and hour) My mom said before Quinn fully took of her shirt. Thank fucking God.

"I think we should call it a day." I cleared my throat.

"But you literally just yelled at me for stopping when weren't done yet." She said confusedly.

I stood up went for some towels and threw it to her because, honestly, I can't not stare at her.

"Yeah. I know, but, umm, you look like shit and must feel like it, so we can continue tomorrow, if you want." I said trying to even out my voice.

Quinn's POV 

"Okay"

FUCK is the only thing that comes into my mind. I didn't think Santana was actually going to go hard on me for kickboxing. I'm so tired and I know tomorrow I'm going to be sore.

"Do you want to go to the sauna?" She asked.

"I do, but that would mean I would have to go down three flight of stairs and I'm too tired for that."

She started to laugh. "Wow, Fabray, you're such a wuss."

"Am not." I crossed my arms and glared.

"Whatever. Have fun with that. I'm going to the sauna." She ran down stairs.

After 10 minutes of struggling with the stairs, I got to the sauna.

"About damn time! What took you so long?"

"Too many stairs?"

"How are you tired we only did punches? We didn't even do kicks or anything. Come here." That's when I noticed she was only in her sports bra and shorts.

It's okay, you've seen her in less clothing. Do be nervous. DON'T STARE. DON'T STARE. I told myself.

"Yo, Quinn! I told you to come here."

"Sorry, I'm just really tired." I lamely excused myself.

"I can see that. Now come sit in front of me so I can rub your arms so you aren't too sore tomorrow. Get that lactic acid out of your muscles."

"You are such a geek!" I said because she actually remembered this from AP Bio and she pronounces the 'c' in muscles.

"Yeah, yeah. Tomorrow you'll be thanking me." She said as she started to rub my arms.

I think I dozed off because, next thing I know, I'm being shaken awake.

"Let's go, lady Q. We've been in here for like 15 minutes. Dinner will be ready in 10. We can take a quick shower."

Once again, I used her bathroom while she used one of the guest bathrooms to shower.

After 15 minutes, both of us headed to the kitchen, when we saw Vanessa, Santana's cousin, in the living room, talking on the phone.

"What the fuck happened to you hair?!" She squeaked as she hung up on the phone.

"I can say the same thing about your face, Ugly Betty," Santana defended.

They have never liked each other. Vanessa always made fun of Santana for being ugly as a child with her sister Sandra and sometimes her mom would join.

I don't know how her uncle, the nicest man alive, can have such hateful girls in his life.

Vanessa is the same age as us, but she goes to a private school. She thinks she's better than everyone else. When Vanessa was about to say something, Angel and Leonardo, Vanessa's dad, came into the room.

"Hola, Mija. Como estas?" (Hey, honey. How are you?) Santana's uncles kissed her cheek and hugged her.

Santana loves her uncle, so she gave him a hug and kiss on his cheek with as much love as he did. In the corner of my eye, I see Vanessa rolling her eyes.

"Hola, Tio Leo. Estoy bien, y usted? Se acuerda de mi amiga, Quinn?"(Hey, Uncle Leo. I'm good, how are you? Do you remember my friend, Quinn?) She pointed to me.

It never ceases to amaze me how respectful she is to the elders in her family. When you think of Santana, polite isn't the first word that comes to mind.

"Yo tambien, mija. Oh, si ella venía a nuestras carne asadas de familia con la otra werita. Es un placer verte, mija."(I'm good, too. Yeah, she used to come to our family BBQ's with the other blonde. It's good to see you.) He said, as he pulled me in for a hug.

"El placer es mio." (The pleasure is mine.) I replied, politely.

"Angel, ya esta la cena." (Angel, dinner is ready.) Maribel called as she walked into the living room.

"Vamos al comedor. Se van a quedar a cenar? Hay más que suficiente para todos." (Let's go to the dinner table. You guys going to stay for dinner? There is plenty of food.) He asked his brother in law.

"Como decirle no a la comida? Sería un pecado, como dice mi mami."(How could we say no to food? It would be sin, my mom would say.) He replied between laughs.

At the dinner table, was her cousin Sandra with her kid and husband, Vanessa, their mom Rocio, Tio Leo, Nataly, their youngest, Angel, Maribel, Santana, and myself.

"Y eso que vino a visitar?"(Why did you guys come to visit?) Santana asked her uncle.

It wasn't unusual for Santana's family to pop in because they all really close and they had parties every other weekend.

"Pues no mas."(Just cause.)

"Esta bien." (Cool.)

Most of dinner was spent with small talk. When we were all finished, Maribel stood up to make coffee and chocolate abuelita and get some sweet bread.

"Tu tia Norma te trajo conchas."(Your Aunt Norma brought you some sweet bread.)

Santana quickly got up to get some conchas with some chocolate abuelita. Once she got settled back into her seat, her mom smacked her head.

"No seas grosera, ofrece le a Quinn." (Don't be rude, offer some to Quinn.)

"Ay, mami, eso me dolio." (Mami, that hurt.) She pouted and rubbed her head. I was trying really hard not to laugh.

"Quinn, do you want some?" She asked.

"I would love some." I smirked because I knew her mom would make her get me some.

She came back with some chocolate abuelita and come conchas. When we were done, we went outside to get some fresh air while the adults talked in the living room.

When we saw Vanessa texting, we tried to be as quiet as possible so she wouldn't notice us. But no such luck.

"Hey there, babosa." (Stupid) Vanessa sneered at Santana.

"Hola, Perra inutil." (Hey, useless bitch.) Santana retorted.

"Le estaba hablando a tu amigita, no ati."(I was talking to your little friend, not you.) She pointed at me.

"Why don't you shut up before I go there and shut you up myself?" Santana was going towards her before I stopped her.

"She's not worth it let's just go by the pool." I said looking into her eyes.

It surprised me that I calmed her because, once Santana is mad, it takes a lot to calm her back down.

Vanessa was too scared to say anything.

"Are you okay?" I asked Santana.

"Yeah, I just hate that she thinks she's better than me."

"Don't beat yourself up about it. Let's just lie by the pool and do a little stargazing." I asked, hopefully.

She smiled in response. "Sounds like a great idea."

She went to the inside part of the pool to get some blankets and pillows for us to lie on. It wasn't too cold, but it wasn't too warm either. It was perfect.

As we settled down, she grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers. It was a simple act, but it made my heart go wild and my stomach jump. I know that Santana try to seem unfazed by her cousin, but I know it affects her a lot. I hate how some of her family members look down on Santana. Like she's not worth it. I just can't seem to wrap my head around it. Santana is the smartest, sweetest (at least to me and Brittany, she is) girl I've ever met. But some of her family just think she isn't going to get anywhere in life. I feel like she might start to believe what they think.

Sure, they have never said it to her face, but I've been there. We overheard them talking. I don't know how, but I'm going to make sure she knows she's worth it.

"Watcha thinking about? I can practically hear your thoughts." Santana gives me small smile.

"Nothing really. I was just wondering if you're joining Cross Country this year. I know you love to run distance. I think it would be good for you."

"Honestly, I really want to join, but the season already started a few days ago. I don't think they'd let me on the team anymore. Besides, I'm really busy this year with all AP & DE classes, glee, and Cheerios."

"Well unlike glee and Cheerios, Cross Country is only in the fall. I'm sure you can manage that. Once winter hits, the season is over." I'm really trying to convince her because I know she wants this.

"Yeah, I guess I'll talk to coach tomorrow to see if I can join." She smiled and kissed my cheek.

We stayed silent for a few minutes until I spoke. "San"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you're in my life again." I said, truthfully.

"Me, too, Q. Let's go inside and rest."


	7. Chapter 7

**Authors Note**

**Here is the next chapter. Sorry it took so long but I've been really busy with a silly thing called life.**

**zairabc-a. tumblr . com post/87222689282/first-pic-is-santanas-home-inside-outdoor-pool Santana's home no spaces **

******Thank you to my beta technicallyimpaired.**

* * *

**QUINN'S POV**

Sunday afternoon, I found myself locked up in my room.

Santana had to go to church with her Abuela and Abuelo. That's kinda their thing, and I didn't want to intrude. I know Santana wanted me to join them. I have noticed that, since the whole Shelby thing, she's been trying to keep me busy so I wouldn't think about it too much. I really just need some time alone.

I guess, since I gave Beth up, I never really let myself think about her too much. The pain just becomes overwhelming. It's something I'd rather forget, even though I know I can't. How can I forget my first born child?

I wanted to keep her so bad, but I know she needed more than Puck and me. She needed someone who has their life figured out. Children can't raise a child. We were young and, obviously, stupid we wouldn't have been good parents. I also know I would resent the baby and I couldn't do that to her or me.

Shelby is good for Beth. When I first saw Shelby again in that classroom, it was like a bus hit me with all the pain and memories of Beth and what might have been.

I was 2 months along when I first found out I was pregnant with Beth. I had never felt so alone. I was so scared to bring Beth into this world. I didn't want an abortion because it didn't feel right. I knew that I had to give Beth up for adoption.

I didn't want to go to the doctor because I was in denial. I know, it's stupid, but I thought that if I just ignored it, it would just go away. Obviously, that didn't happen.

My dad kicked me out, and that hurt more than I'll ever admit. He didn't love me enough to forgive my mistake. I was homeless, pregnant, and more alone than ever. Then, I gave birth to her.

She was a 7 pounds 9 ounces. She was so tiny. I had never been in so much pain, but when I first saw her, I knew it was worth it. I took a few minutes to just stare at Beth, thinking how I had a part in creating her and bringing her into this world.

Later, Shelby came up to me and told me she wanted to adopt her. I said yes. She was the right choice. I knew she would give her what we couldn't.

A few days after that, I went to court to sign my rights away and give them to Shelby. That had to be the hardest day of my life. I went home and cried. For weeks I would cry myself to sleep. I had so much guilt in me. I knew what I had done was for the best, but it still doesn't take all of those bad feelings away.

I don't regret giving her up. I know I did what's best for her. It just feels like I'm missing something sometimes.

I guess that's why I focused so much on Finn, Sam, and Puck. It was my way of trying to cope with giving Beth away. I created all this useless drama as my way to deal with all my pain caused by giving up Beth.

I tried to go back to my "normal" old self. Then, I realized that that was never really me. I had been trying to be the perfect Christian blonde with the perfect family for my father's sake. That was never more than an act. He wasn't there anymore. I didn't need to keep impressing him. It isn't me.

Yeah, this look probably isn't me either, but I like it because it's the exact opposite of what I was. The pink hair, dark clothing, and the butterfly tattoo were my way of saying, "fuck you" to my dad and somehow attempting to let go of my past.

My mom wasn't too thrilled when she found out I got a tattoo. At first, she started yelling that I had ruined my body. Then, she calmed down and asked me why I got the tattoo. I told her 'I can relate to a butterfly.' She was about to yell at me again when I said. 'I feel like a butterfly because I started out like a caterpillar. I went through so much not knowing how I was going to end up. I went through some dark times just like a caterpillar when it's in its cocoon. I went through changes and I came out better, stronger than when I started. And every adventure, good or bad, will be just like that. I enter my cocoon one way and come out the other way.'

After my speech, she didn't seem so mad because she knew it wasn't just some stupid tattoo I got because YOLO. It was a tattoo I got it because it meant something. It meant something to me.

I spent the last two years trying to forget Beth. Now I realize that I need to make peace with my past. I'm not there yet, but I'm definitely taking baby steps. It makes it a little bit easier that I know, this time Santana will be by my side.

* * *

Monday came too quickly for my liking.

Most of my morning was uneventful. Britt, San, and I were having lunch when Shelby came up to our table.

"Hey Quinn can I have a word with you?" Shelby inquired, nervously.

"Um, yeah, sure," I replied, feeling a little hesitant.

"Do you want us to go with you?" San asked, and Brittany nodded in agreement.

"I think I'll do fine. STAY here." I looked pointedly at Santana.

"Fine, whatever." She crossed her arms.

.

When we arrived in her classroom, there was an awkward pregnant pause.

"So, I think that I might have been a little unfair toward you, and I wanted to apologize. I just thought that you were going through the same thing I went through when I gave Rachel up.

"When I first gave her up, I got in with the wrong crowd. I thought you were in the same situation. I know it was wrong of me to do so, but can you blame me?" I could see there were tears trying to escape her eyes.

Before she could explain herself some more, I stopped her. "Look I get. I probably would have thought the same thing, and I wanted to apologize for the way I acted. It's hard when the mother of the child you gave up comes into your life unexpectedly. I would really like to be a part of Beth's life. I don't know. Maybe I could be like and aunt or something?" I said shrugging.

"Actually that's why I wanted to talk to you. I want you and Puck to be part of her life. Would you like to see her?" She asked, and, suddenly, I was nervous.

"I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet. Give me time to process that this is really happening. How about you just show me a picture? Let me take baby steps."

"Yeah. Okay." She pulled out her phone and showed me a picture of a beautiful blonde hazel eyed baby.

I was trying really hard not to cry. "She's so beautiful."

"She looks like you," she coos.

"Can you send me that picture?"

"Of course, and when you're ready, let me know. I'm sure Beth would enjoy more people around."

"Okay. Thank you." The lunch bell rang. "I should go." I motioned my thumb to the door.

"Yeah, I have to teach a class, too."

On my way to my locker, I saw that Santana and Brittany were waiting for me.

"How'd it go?" Santana spoke first.

"It went fine. She wanted to apologize for making a quick assumption. I guess I have to thank you for that."

"No you don't, Q. You are AMAZING. I just smacked some sense into her," her voice held nothing but sincerity.

I noticed that Britt was smirking, but before I could even ask her what that was about, the warning bell rang.

"Well, I'm glad everything went alright. I have to go to class." Britt hugged both of us and walked to her class.

"Bye, Britt" we replied in unison.

"So, what do you want to do?" Santana asked.

"Do you want to go to the Lima Bean and hang out?"

"Yeah, I'm up for terrible coffee." She shrugged.

"Cool. Let's go!"

At the Lima bean, San and I got chai lattes.

"Guess what happened to me today." Santana asked me.

"You got a Hogwarts acceptance letter?" I smirked.

"That would be awesome, but no. So, you know how Mercedes quit New Directions?" Its cute how much she loves Harry Potter.

"Yeah what about it?"

"Mercedes asked me to join Shelby's new group."

"What did you say?" I joined glee again, not only because I love it, but also because I wanted to be with Britt and San again.

"I told her I wouldn't leave New Directions without you or Britt."

"Do you really want to join her group?"

"Its our Senior year, Quinn. Don't you want to shine? Us three with Mercedes? It would be amazing. I know you haven't shown your true singing skills. This could be good for us. I already talked to Brittany. She said she's up for it, but we won't join without you."

"Well if both of you guys are joining I want to join, too."

"Really? If you don't want to, we can stay in the New Directions."

I'm still not sure if i want to join Shelby's group, but I know it would mean the world to both Santana and Brittany. It would also be the baby step I need. "Yes, I'm sure."

Santana squeals and hugs me. "Thank You." She kisses my cheek.

After the excitement went down, Santana got her serious face on. "Hey, Q, did everything go alright with Shelby?" Her soft tone might've shocked someone who didn't know her as well as I do.

"Yeah, I think that I'm ready to let go of my past. That's also one of the reasons I want to join the new glee club. It's my baby step to maybe one day being able to see Beth," I reply, truthfully.

"I'm glad. You deserve to be happy." She caressed my hand and gave me a rare, genuine smile.

.

"Come on. Let's go back to school." I grab her hand and we walk to her car hand in hand. She even decides to open my door. Then it hit me. We were acting like a couple. I know I should be freaking out, but I'm not. I actually liked it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Authors Note**

**Hey guys sorry for the delay. My Beta ********technicallyimpaired was in a car wreck. They are doing well now but that's why I haven't updated. **

* * *

**Santana's POV**

Wow. We just acted like a total couple. I tried to shake it off as just us being friends, but there was a nagging voice in the back of my mind telling me that's not the truth. Quinn can't like me. She's straight and deserves better than me.

During our drive to school, we made small talk.

"I'm really glad you auditioned for Anita in West Side Story. I'm sure you'll get the part." Quinn said with a proud smile.

"Yeah, I'm glad I did, too. You're going to be in it, too, right?"

"Yeah, probably just an extra or something." She said with a small smile.

"Well, if it means anything to you, I think you're an amazing actress." I said honestly. She is a talented actress.

"Thanks," she replied with a blush.

The rest of the ride was spent in a comfortable silence with some Ricardo Arjona playing in the background.

* * *

"Hey, guys!" Britt called as we came into the classroom. We always sit next to her in AP Calc.

"Hey, Britt." I replied, kissing her cheek.

"Hey, B," Quinn said with a smile.

Ms. What's-her-face gave us a worksheet to work on, but we weren't allowed to talk the whole class period.

We were working on the worksheet when Quinn gave me a note. 'When is our next class?' It said.

'Um. After this one?' I gave her a confused look after she read it, but she just smiled.

'No, our next kickboxing lesson?'

'Oh, well, the XC coach wants me to stay after school to practice. Do you want to go to my place after practice?'

'OMG! Santana, that is amazing! They let you on the team? That would be awesome.'

'Well, I'm just trying out. If they like me, I get to stay on the team. Cool. Are you still sore from Saturday?'

'You are an amazing runner. You'll get on the team, no problem. Yeah, but just a little. I'd be worse if you didn't give me that massage.'

'I told you you'd be thanking me.' I smirked.

She just rolled her eyes. Before she could make another note, the bell rang.

I was too excited to pay attention in any of my classes. I was too busy hoping that I could get on the Varsity team for XC. It seemed like the day was going too slow for my liking. However, when the end of the day came, I was really nervous.

"Calm down. You'll do fine." Quinn kissed my cheek to try to help me chill out.

"Thanks." I couldn't wipe the goofy smile off my face.

"Now, go. Before you are late." She pointed to the field.

.

"Hey, Coach Parrish."

"Hey, whats up, Santana?" He high-fived me.

"So, remind me. How fast can you run a mile?"

"Um, I think, like, 5 minutes 30 seconds."

"Wow! That's fast. Our fastest runner is 6.50, and he is a guy. Well, today we are doing mile repeats. Go warm up with them, then we will strech. Got it?"

"Got it." Warming up and stretching weren't too bad. It was easier than my usual routine of warm ups and stretches.

"Alright! Group 1, get on the line. That includes you, Santana."

"Ok."

"Today, we are doing mile repeats. Our next meet is on Friday, and we need to be prepared. Get your stamina up. We are doing 8 mile repeats. Go!"

We all started to sprint the mile. I didn't run too hard because I need to last the whole 8 miles. After each mile, we would take a 30 second break.

I had lapped a few people in my group. When I finished each mile, Parrish yelled out my time so that the managers could write them down.

Usually, after the third mile, everyone starts taking their shirts off because we start sweating.

"5.35, 5.36, 5.37, 5.34, 5.40, 5.32, 5.31, 5.28. Wow! I think you just broke the school record for the mile," Parrish commented.

"Really?"

"Yeah, the school mile record is 5.30."

"Sweet! So, does this mean I'm on the team?"

"Heck, yeah!"

On the outside, I was cool and collected (after all, I'm still HBIC), but, on the inside, I was screaming, jumping, and celebrating.

The team and I were going to the end of the field to do some core when a football came towards us. I caught it with ease.

"Dammit, Hudson. You suck. Your throw was supposed to go to Puck 20 yards from me. I bet my grandmother could throw better with her eyes closed." I was standing at the 30 yard line and he was at the endzone on the opposite side of the field. I knew he had heard me because he was bright red. I threw the ball at him perfectly, and he still didn't catch it. "Is all that blubber making it hard for you to catch the ball?"

Everyone on the field laughed.

"Fuck you, Santana."

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. Your failure is making it hard to hear you."

"Lopez, come do core!" Parrish shouted.

"Okay," I walked away, smirking.

Once I got there, Parrish high-fived me. "Nice job today! You did amazing! You're right, our football team sucks. Maybe you should be quarterback because that was an awesome throw."

"Thanks, but I'd rather be a part of a winning team." A smirk took over my face.

He shook his head and I started doing the workout.

After practice, I went to the cheerios locker room to shower. When I got out, Quinn was outside waiting for me.

"You still up to teach me kickboxing today?" Quinn asked.

"Yup. Let's go teach you how to kick ass."

Quinn laughed that beautiful laugh that always gives me butterflies.

.

"Okay, now that we are done with cardio and combinations, we should do some wrestling. I'll teach you how to trip someone." I grabbed her neck and put our foreheads together.

"Okay, now grab my neck and put your other hand on my other arm that's grabbing your neck. Cool?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, so, what you do is put your foot behind mine and push me down. Got it?"

"Okay, so, like this." She did what I told her and she tripped me.

"Yeah, that was awesome. Let's do it a couple more times." We did it a few more times with her just tripping me.

"Let's make this a bit more interesting."

"How?" she inquired.

"Simple. We both try to trip each other."

Quinn's POV

"That's not very fair, Santana. You have years of training. I have two days."

"Didn't think you were a chicken, Q."

"Am not! Alright, let's do this." We got in the position she showed me earlier.

"Ready. Set. Go!" She wasn't ready, so I easily tripped her.

"So, that's how it's going to be? You're going down, Fabray," she said from the ground. She did a flip up like it was the easiest thing in the world. Not going to lie, it turned me on a bit.

"Bring it, Lopez."

"Ready. Set. Go" I didn't even have time to register what had happened. Next thing I knew, I was in the ground with Santana pinning my arms down with one arm, then, suddenly, she was tickling me.

"NO! SANATANA, STOP!" I struggled to get out between fits of laughter.

"Not until you give up."

"Okay. Okay, I give up."

She stopped, and leaned in close. "Say Santana is the most amazing person in the whole wide world!"

"Nope."

"Alright." She started to tickle me again, and she was too damn strong for me to get free from her hold.

"Okay. Okay. Santana is the most amazing person in the whole wide world," I coughed between laughs.

She stopped tickling me, but, this time, she held both my wrists in both her hands. We just stayed there, looking at each other.

Her eyes looked at my lips, so, I did the same. I was yearned to feel her lips, so I did the only thing that came to my mind. I leaned up and kissed those pouty lips of her. She didn't kiss back. I was about to pull back and apologize for being such an ass when she started to kiss me back.

I had never felt anything like this with anyone else. The 'fireworks' I felt with Finn were nothing compared to this. These were actual fireworks. It was gentle but passionate. It wasn't sloppy or rough like the boys I had kissed. The kiss ended organically. We once again just looked at each other.

I saw that look in her face. She was panicking. She was about to speak when I stopped her.

"Let's not worry about it now and enjoy the moment." And so we did.

I don't know if we stayed there for second, minutes, or hours kissing but I had never felt so alive and so at peace. Santana's mom called us using the intercom system they have.

"Santana, ya esta la cena."(Santana, dinner is ready.) We stopped kissing.

"I guess we should head down," she said, looking anywhere but at me.

"Please, don't make things awkward," I pleaded.

"Can't make any promises, Q. We just hit new territory and I don't know what to do."

"Well, how about we start with going downstairs to have dinner?" I stood up, offered her my hand so she could stand up as well, and we walked down stairs.

"Que vamos a comer?" (What are we going to eat?) Santana asked while she went to the fridge and I went to the kitchen island.

"Tamales." A voice I didn't recognize replied.

"OMG, tía, what are you doing here?" Santana squeaked before running to her aunt Norma and giving her a big hug. Her aunt Norma moved to Colorado a few months ago so Santana was rarely see her favorite aunt.

"We decided to come visit," Norma replied.

"I'm glad! I missed you so much! Where are my little devils?" Santana asked for her little cousins.

"Estan con tu papi." (They are with your dad) That's when Angel came in with Kamila who is 2 years old and Alejandro who is 10 months.

"Sata, Sata!" Little Kamila ran to Santana and hugged her legs. Santana picked her up and Kamila started to kiss her cheek.

"Hola, mi amor! Como estas?"(Hey, my love! How are you?) Kamila is a very smart girl and she has already begun learning how to speak. She is about the same age as Beth.

I smiled sadly at the scene before me. It made me wonder if Santana would be like this with Beth if I had kept her.

"Ben," she said, trying to say bien(good).

"Tía, te acuerdas de mi amiga, Quinn." Santana said, distractedly playing with Kamila.

"Hey, Mija. How are you? I like the hair."

"Hey! Thanks, I like it, too."

"Vamos a senar."(Lets go eat.) Maribel called to all of us.

At the dinner table, Santana got out two high chairs for her little cousins, strategically placing them next to her seat.

Kamila knows how to eat by herself, but little Alejandro doesn't.

San went to get some baby food for him and was feeding him while she ate.

"Look at you being all domestic," I teased.

"I have no doubt that Santana will be a great mother one day," Norma said with a smile.

"Me either, but not anytime soon, I hope." Angel gave Santana a pointed look.

"No, daddy," She replied, rolling her eyes.

"So, why didn't my tío come?"

"He stayed in Colorado to run the shop."

"What kind of shop do you guys have?" I asked.

"We run a medical marijuana shop over there."

"Oh, that's... cool?" I said, uncertainly.

"It's a good business," Norma shrugged. As I looked around, no one seemed to care what she did.

As if reading my mind Santana said, "It's not like she's doing anything illegal, Q."

"Yeah, if we weren't so well off financially, I would be in the business," continued Angel.

After some more small talk, we finished dinner and Santana took the kids into her room and started to play with them.

"Who knew McKinley's resident badass was so good with kids?" I donned a playful smile.

"Nobody, if you know what's good for you," she smirked.

I just rolled my eyes and continued doing my homework.

"Alright, it's time for bed." Norma came in and took the kids to put them to bed.

"So, um, you can take my, um, bathroom and I'll go use some other bathroom," Santana said, awkwardly, while shuffling around her room, collecting what she needed.

I was about to say something, but she had bolted out the door. After a quick shower, I went into her room and took the right side of the bed, like always.

Santana came in and just stood by the door shifting from one foot to another.

"God, Santana, why are you making things awkward?"

"Because they kind of are, Quinn. I don't know if you remember, but we made out upstairs."

"Doesn't mean it was to be awkward."

"Kind of does."

I got out of bed and made my way over to her. I kissed her once again, softly. She kissed me back, hesitantly. I wrapped my arms around her neck. She grabbed my waist and brought me in closer. I started to walk back towards the bed with us still kissing. The back of my knee hit her bed and she put me down gently. The kiss was soft and loving. She was kissing me like it was her last time. We stayed there kissing for what seemed like hours. When we stopped, we just stayed there, cuddling.

"I can practically hear you think," I whispered.

"Well, I can't not think about what just happened, Quinn."

"Let's not think then. Let's just enjoy the moment." I knew it wasn't the answer she wanted, but what could I say? I don't even know what's going on. What I did know was that I wanted it to happen again.

Santana soon drifted into a peaceful sleep and I followed shortly thereafter. We cuddled all night, my head in her chest, our feet intertwined, and our hands clasped together.


End file.
